Fresh off a weekend spent with boys who couldn't pass a curly blonde without releasing a collective sigh of satisfaction, it's pretty easy to begin yet another lover's diatribe. Now, I love these guys, but, let's face it, this eyeballing approach to seduction isn't exactly the story being told in fairy tales.
Though I still can't fully believe it, I return again and again to the idea that being hot matters a lot.
And, as I've laughingly discussed with friends several times, the hotness portion of the attractiveness equation isn't exactly an equal opportunity area. It's genetics, don't you see.
Some of us will just always look better in braided pigtails than leather rockerchick pants.
I honestly believe that personality wins in the end, but those of us selected for the 'cute' portion of the population sometimes want to be at the receiving end of one of those "dayummm girl" looks. (And I for one am not afraid to admit that, no matter how weakly feminine it makes me)
So what is one to do? Surely the answer is not in buying all new sex goddess clothing or working out like a maniac to achieve a stunningly slender figure.
No, I think, the real answer is in taking a cue from those boys and their wide-eyed awe and seeing that there's no shame in desire.
Uh oh. The 'd' word. Not something that the nice girls are usually throwing around.
Quite the hot button topic in my Sexual Ethics, desires are something that everyone has and nobody wants to talk about. Sure, we throw it out there in our Good Girls Crave Bad Boys moments, but how often do members of the female population happily stare down a member of the opposite sex without feeling an ounce of guilt in that section of the brain that stores all the morals from Disney princess movies?
Well, at least in my case, not that often.
And so, with the hysterics of some of my favorite guys in mind, I'm issuing a call to action for myself: take a walk on the sexual side.
And LET ME BE VERY CLEAR- This is not a creepy public announcement of a newfound dedication to promiscuity.
It's just a class- and experience-induced decision to stop being so uptight about romance. And to stop believing there's a formula that each relationship will follow.
To leave the blushing behind to blow kisses at hot motorcyclists.
I can't magically become "hotter," but I can certainly work to stop comparing myself to every other girl in the room. I can own what I have to offer, and know that I deserve to go after what I want.
I'm not saying that I'll suddenly drop the moral code that I'm quite happy to live within, but I am desperately working to express a new understanding that there's sexiness in the ability to have fun with life and to own your own sexuality.
To be your own you and watch heads start turning.
To throw out a couple "dayummm boyeeee"s
And to not feel like you have to answer to any preconceived notions you have about how guys see you.
All that really matters is how you see yourself.
[and let me repeat for one last time: this wasn't meant to be horrifying (momma), it was meant to be a bit of a written walk on the wild side- Hope you enjoyed!]
Just a sexy side note:
"You feel like paradise, and I need a vacation tonight"
Peace, love and possible public embarrassment,