Thursday, July 8, 2010

Dallas does...the Love Doctor.

As we were pulling away from the station Monday night, my friend noticed a girl breaking away from the embrace of her boyfriend to catch the train. She rushed over to the door, turning to look back at her prince charming, only to see him calmly walking away. But wait! He was now also looking back over his shoulder, only to find her focused on entering the train, seemingly unconcerned about his departure. Each looked back only to find the other looking away.
And while this example may not be perfect- since the two had been making out like crazy just minutes before- it got me thinking: how does love survive when we have no idea what the other person's thinking?
We've all seen it before. Or, to rephrase, we've all heard it before from the mouths of our closest friends.
"But what if he doesn't like me?!"
"She hasn't texted, but I can text her right?!"
"He says he dialed my number on accident. But who does that, right? He's totally into me and is too shy to admit it!"
Yuck. You're probably thinking back to conversations like this and laughing as you remember how the situation turned out. But at least for me, that laughter quickly becomes a frown as I think back on how many times I let word vomit like that fly out of my fingers into texts.
Love is exactly what many of us are out in the world chasing, and yet, it may be the hardest of prizes to catch.
Girls want to know what a guy's thinking but they can't stand it if there's no mystery.
Guys love the thrill of the chase, but hate it when a girl plays games to keep him on his toes.
We all want to gauge our feelings to how our love interest views us, but there's no room to tell the truth when you're scared of getting hurt.
Think back to the last time you marched up to someone and told them exactly how you felt. (You people already happily in love don't count!)
Probably pretty long ago, right? Now I'm not trying to dive into a world of "But guys have to do the asking!" or "I'd only end up breaking her heart." In fact, I'm just trying to personally remember the last time I had any romantic interaction with a guy that wasn't posted on a wall-to-wall newsfeed or stored in my text message sent folder.
I'm not sure if I've EVER been completely honest about my feelings with a guy face-to-face outside of the comfortable sphere of a relationship. Even back in junior high it was about notes folded into paper footballs and secrets whispered to your friend after band practice.
And now it's even worse. When I'm not twisting my life into the plot of a Meg Cabot novel, I'm sending texts to 20 different friends asking them to analyze what my latest crush has to say. Through my slavery to the pop culture world of 'reality' TV, Cosmopolitan magazine and Facebook, I've stripped myself of the ability to stay real.
My version of telling a guy I like him has become adding a winky face to the end of my posts.
And to think I call myself a romantic.
Now let's be honest, I may not be able to break myself of all my bad love habits. I'm stubborn and I'm sneaky and, most importantly, I'm scared.
But I will try to remind myself the next time I'm about to press send on that innuendo-ridden text message that faint heart never won fair lady (or should I say fair lad).
If I'm really as much as a believer in love as I claim to be, then shouldn't I be out chasing it instead of pussyfooting around in shynessville?
Because let me just say once and for all that the only way love is ever going to grow in your life is if you're willing to be open about it. If you're willing to look another person in their eyes and let them see, even if just for a moment, exactly what's going on in your head.
Nobody wants to look back over their shoulder and find nobody looking back at them.
But you should always have the courage to look.

Your thought of the day comes to you from one of my favorite quote websites,
"True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match."

Peace, love and prince charming,

1 comment:

  1. On point. You can't be as suspended in disbelief as you claim to be to have written such a revealing post. This can't be Kelsey's whole truth, but it certainly is a pretty introspective teaser. Interesting thoughts. I have my misgivings about the quote, though. I really enjoy the consistency, the look, and the compatible nature of matching socks, however, there is something so contradictorily perfect about the way two divergently different 'socks' can on rare occasions still beautifully complement each other in ways I'm never prepared to recognize. I liked this!