Saturday, September 18, 2010

Dallas does...rainy Saturday.

Part of being a unique person means experiencing your world differently than every other person on Earth.
We each have our own favorite paths to walk and books to read, but this week I thought about something much more basic: what type of thoughts run through your head all day.
It's a very interesting idea to me, a girl who's main goal is to observe people like they're characters in a new novel who have specific motivations for me to understand. I realize that the mind of another person can't often be accessed, but the more perceptiveness you aim for, the more surprises there are to discover.
In my English lyric poetry class this Thursday, we discussed how interesting the process of analyzing a poet's work is. We make all these 'educated guesses' as English majors about how the rain outside was used to set the mood or how the choice of vocabulary is supposed to clue us in to the religious undertones.
But in reality, I'm never going to be able to meet William Shakespeare. So that allusion to Narcissus we picked up on in Sonnet 1? Not a verifiable fact.
So all these ideas I gather about what is motivating the people around me- what goals they are working towards each day- are utterly dissatisfying.
The truth is, we aren't meant to know what it's like for Sheila to be Sheila everyday. Or how Bryan lectures Bryan for the awkward way he waved to that girl. The important thing is to figure out our relationship with ourselves in our own minds, and make it a productive one.
As I've said an almost embarrassing number of times before, I love me. Though at this point you're probably rolling your eyes, unable to believe that I could find a way to sneak that fact into every single blog post, try to hear me out.
The fact is that "I love me" is exactly the thought that runs through my head most often. Why you ask? Because it reminds me to stop panicking every time I've said something wrong or been caught staring at that kid across the aisle too long. Poised on the verge of self-critique, I remind myself that if I can't accept all the weird things I do far too often, then I can't possibly expect other people to.
I love me.
Yesterday was one of the best days I've had this school year. It was like thousands of small entities aligned to create the most perfect chain of events that I could ever ask for.
Now if you asked me to describe these events to you, you would be shocked at how simplistic they were. But they were exactly what I needed to keep smiling on Friday, September 17.
So a word of advice to you dear readers: take the time to understand yourself.
It's a journey I embark on everyday, and it's one of the most worthwhile goals I've ever pursued.

Today's thought of the day from within the confines of my mind:
I think what I most want to be is a breath a fresh air. I want to be so comfortably nestled into the truths of who I am that I help others reach a similar peace with who they are. I want to spread love and be loved.

Peace, love and Pippy Longstockings,

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